Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my new blog! I have been contemplating creating a website for...well...way too long now. Since most of my artwork has a story behind it and sharing that story feels like an important piece of the process, it seemed like a blog was a very practical way to 'show' my work.

Most recently, I have created a series of mixed-media collages that are based on a series of oil paintings I've played with for the past several years. Each painting was an exploration for me into the world of the Sacred Feminine goddess images from various cultures and faiths as well as an opportunity to play in a medium I had never used before, i.e. oil paint.

I plan to post each pair of images - the oil painting and its accompanying collage - with their respective writings over the next several blogs. Enjoy!

If you'd like to see any of these pieces in person, the series of collages will be on view at Artlink's Pushpin Gallery, 437 East Berry Street, Fort Wayne, Indiana from July 16 through August 8, 2010. The series of goddess oil paintings are on view now at Conrad and Ilene Satala's office waiting room, also in Fort Wayne.

Thanks for visiting and more to come!!

Babushka Madonna

Babushka Madonna’s image developed during a time in my life when I was hunting for sacred feminine images that were more real and accessible than the typical Madonna image that is frozen in time as the demure, blue-cloaked young woman with downward-focused eyes. Only a fraction of women (maybe none) can truly live up to and relate to the image of the typical Madonna figure. I wanted more images of the Sacred Feminine that I could relate to. In particular, I was looking for sacred images that spoke to me at my stage of midlife looking forward to elderhood.

We never see Madonna images of the elder, wise, crone Madonna. Yet there is such beauty and strength in aging. There is sacredness in the wisdom that comes from living life. I wanted something that I could grow into. I wanted someone that could embrace me and guide me and be my mentor. I needed Babushka Madonna. The image of an older woman akin to an elderly Mother Theresa came to me.

As I was painting her, I took a jaunt to New York City and went to Ellis Island. I looked up my grandmother, Barbara (Bara) Súc, who emigrated from Croatia to the United States in 1919 at the age of 19. After a ‘phone a friend’ call to my maternal aunt to verify what I was uncovering, I found her. I was stunned by the information gained via the ship’s manifests and my aunt’s knowledge. Bara Súc was a petite, but strong woman. She loved me enough to follow her pioneer spirit and her dreams and desires, and in doing so, she gave up the ‘known’.

Upon returning home, I set aside my Ellis Island discovery and continued painting Babushka Madonna. When my teenage son came into my studio and asked me why I was painting a picture of Grandma (my mother), I realized that I had indeed created an image of the Sacred Feminine that was very close to home. She embodied the spirit of my grandmother’s journey from young adult through elderhood and I could see myself in her…my past as a young woman eager to make my way and my future as an elder woman filled with the wisdom of life’s lessons. I had created an elder Madonna image in her and in me that I could indeed relate to and embrace, that could guide me and be my mentor.

On the back of the original’s frame I wrote:

Grandma Bara Suc, my Babushka Madonna. So brave. Fear in every cell. Trusting. Left behind known – never seen again – because there was more, is more to be. Choosing more. Opening to me. An example to me. Risk it. Get on the boat, cross the deep water, land on the shore. Step into the unknown without pain, past fear. Life awaits. LIFE awaits. Life.

Oil painting - oil on canvas, 24x30"

Collage - mixed-media including Tyvek papercut, acrylic, acid-free print, copper wire, and found objects on upcycled cigar box.

Kali: The Persistent Visionary

Kali is considered the fiercest of the Hindu goddesses and is often referred to as the goddess of death. She is generally depicted as a blue-skinned warrior wearing a skull necklace and a skirt of dismembered limbs. Two of her four hands hold a severed head and a sword. Her other two hands are empty, ready to bless those who turn to her. Upon first meeting Kali, her image and symbolism may be frightening. For me though, I see her as a loving visionary.

I routinely welcome her presence in my life to challenge my belief systems, question my perceptions, and shake me to my core so I don’t get too comfortable in my patterns. She does all of this in a seemingly destructive manner, but in truth, the breaking down part (the death) is only the beginning. What follows is a restructuring of values and beliefs, an opening to others’ perceptions, a strengthening of relationships with myself and others, and new routines and flows to move through. I’d be specific with all that shifts as a result of Kali’s presence, but it literally changes every single day.

As a result of this loving interpretation of Kali, I depicted her face and arms as part of the Tree of Life. The Tree appears to be dying and in flames, but in reality, beauty is right behind, flowing up through the roots.

And although her face is blue-skinned and flaming with her wild tongue sticking out, I made one of her fiery eyes winking. It’s as if she’s saying, “I know I’m supposed to be all mean and scary, but if you promise to keep it quiet, I’ll let you in on my little secret.”

Oil painting - oil on canvas, 24x48"

Collage - Mixed-media collage including Tyvek papercut, acid-free print, acrylic, branches, and found objects on upcycled cupboard door.

Frida Retablo

A central image in my Web of Life papercutting is that of Frida Kahlo’s eyes, or more recognizably, her eyebrows. Frida’s popularity seems to grow exponentially as time goes on. Her life and her art have meaning for many of us.

For me, she is a source of deep support within my web because she embodies one simple word that I carry into my art as well as my day-to-day life. Honesty.

Art was a means of honest, self exploration for Frida. “I paint my own reality.” She painted herself over and over again…self portraits as well as images of her own experiences and inner world because, as she said, “I am the person I know best.”

She did not censor what images came forward, what she created, or what she presented to the world. “The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration.” As a result, her body of work is often bold and daring. It speaks openly to the world telling us who she is with no apology or veiling.

Since that honest, self-explorative approach is prevalent in my own creativity, Frida’s bold and honest gaze found their way from the Web of Life onto this retablo.

Collage - mixed-media including Tyvek papercut, acrylic, Solarplate print, paper, beading and found objects on upcycled cupboard door.

Web of Life

I designed this papercut image so it would center on the Lonely Tree painting I had done in pastels about 15 years previously. I always loved the color and form of my Lonely Tree piece and can distinctly recall the time I spent creating it…undisturbed, intent, completely focused, confident, and solid. I framed it immediately and it hung in various spots in my home for several years until one day I looked at it and thought, “My, that’s a REALLY lonely tree. Maybe it needs some company.”

Having learned the art of papercutting around that same time, I decided to design a Tyvek paper Web of Life that supported that tree…that supported me. I filled the web with the forces and resources that are the core of my existence, including all of the goddesses that are part of my goddess series and this exhibit. And then I cut three of them, each from its own sheet of Tyvek - one to mount on the Lonely Tree, one to mount on a white background so the images were crisp and clear, and the third to mount on handmade marbled paper that I created with an artist friend of mine, Diane Schafer.

I really love how this last one resulted in the point of the web resting in the swirl of the marbled paint. That point feels like the heart of everything. The swirls of the marbling provide me the opportunity to visually reach into and through this multitude of layers of the web of my life. I can feel the depth that this and the other two backgrounds provide. The web of my life is not flat or one dimensional. Rather it has layers and indefinable perspectives.

Web of Life on Tree - Tyvek papercut mounted on pastel.

Web of Life on Marbled - Tyvek papercut mounted on handmade marbled paper.

Modern Madonna

This piece is part of a series of Madonna images I created with the perspective that the beauty of the Sacred Feminine does not need to be in one type of image, i.e. the typical demure Madonna with downward-cast eyes. I loved the idea of this Madonna looking right at the camera. I loved her tattoos and piercings and spiked hair…all of those things that I had heard people around me comment on in teens and young women as bad or disgraceful. Part of me agreed…but only the very smallest part that was a bit afraid of it all. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to witness the boldness of others when you yourself want to blend in and not be seen. I wrote some quotes on the back of the frame that I felt were these smaller parts of all of us that aren’t willing to throw our fears to the wind and see what true sacred beauty can be.

“She used to be such a good little girl. What happened?”

“Kids these days!!”

“Where did we go wrong?”

“It could be worse…it could be your daughter.”

“She could be such a pretty girl. What a shame.”

The bigger part of me relished the idea of being as bold as this Modern Madonna in order to make a statement that spoke out to people every single time they looked at me. How brave and honest. I wanted to show that honest beauty and make it sacred. To recognize this larger part, I wrote on the back of the frame:

She knows she has the power to make the stares smile and the words shift, but that means she lives in their world and takes on the legacy of fear and shame. She risks abandonment to gain freedom; she bears isolation to discover her inner wings. Oh my child. Surrender to your depth and soften your interior, your heart. You are the pioneer of self, of soul, of love for humanity.

I honor the sacred beauty and strength in all women.

Oil painting - oil on canvas, 24x30"

Collage - mixed-media including Tyvek papercut, acrylic, Solarplate print, paper, beading and found objects on upcycled cupboard door.

Lady Magdalene

The blending of the two images – Lady Liberty and Mary Magdalene – came to me when I envisioned Mary holding her alabaster jar and chalice in the same way that the Statue of Liberty holds her book and torch. Possibly an odd pairing upon first glance, but for me, the essence of the union of these two feminine figures is about being seen.

More importantly, it’s about choosing to be seen without regard for outcome.

The actual Statue of Liberty was created with the intent of being a universal, visible image that depicted, and was embraced as, the symbol of opportunity and of new life. Placed upon a pedestal on her own island along the path of entry, she is the epitome of being seen. And she is understood, revered, and visited in droves.

Mary Magdalene was a sacred feminine being who was very real and was willing to be seen. She followed her heart and her soul and never abandoned her wild nature. And for that, she was misunderstood and rejected. She was all but erased from common history save for her depiction as a sinner who was forgiven by Jesus, that is, until recently when truths about her have been rediscovered. To place her upon Lady Liberty’s pedestal as I did in the original oil painting, hugging her alabaster jar and raising her chalice high above her head, is to offer her some of the visage and reverence she deserves…perhaps to make up for a little lost time.

The blending of these two entities, one a portal of welcome and one a sacred woman of faith, depicts the varied responses one often receives when choosing to be seen. In their cases, this difference in outcome could be explained as a simple reflection of historical timing and intent, but frankly, it doesn’t matter. Here’s the truth…

To choose to be seen is brave and necessary. It is the intent with which we were created.

Although it is awesome to be deemed acceptable from day one when seen, it is also a wonderful gift to be rediscovered, rewritten, and seen anew no matter when it occurs. But it is most critical, yet the most difficult, to embrace the fact that one may never be understood, accepted, or deemed worthy after bravely choosing to be seen. To continue living openly and honestly knowing that the outcome may always be rejection…this is the sacred essence of being alive.

Oil painting - oil on canvas, 24x48"

Collage - Mixed-media collage including Tyvek papercut, copper tinting, acrylic, paper, and found objects on upcycled cupboard door.